Let’s see — we have three mayoral candidates, a mayor, and an ex-mayor. Perhaps one of them can solve this problem.

I consulted my city-issued, color-coded bulk pickup schedule, and it said my February pickup was the week of Feb. 24. So I put my bulk garbage on the curb (as my neighbors did). But we didn’t get bulk pickup last week.

So I called 311
, since that’s what we’re told we’re supposed to do in these situations. Why wasn’t my garbage picked up? I asked. Because it wasn’t your week, the operator said. But, I said, my city-issued, color-coded bulk pickup schedule said it was my week.

Yes, she said, but the first week in February doesn’t have a Monday in it, so your pickup is the week of Feb. 28, not Feb. 21. But my city-issued, color-coded bulk pickup schedule said it was the week of Feb. 21, I said. But your week is Feb. 28, she said, because the first week of February doesn’t have a Monday in it. And your March pickup will be the week of March 28, because the first week of March doesn’t have a Monday in it.

I started to ask if this meant that the city-issued, color-coded bulk pickup schedule is wrong, since I have pored over it in tremendous detail and there is no explanation of the Monday exception (though there is something about a month with five Mondays).  The operator never quite said that, and I’m certainly not going to argue with  someone who is only doing what the bosses tell them to do.

Which is why I hope one of our five mayoral types can help me with this. Do they know when my bulk garbage will be picked up?