Photo Courtesy of Tommy Garcia, Virginia Sherwood, Jonathan Zizzo & Bravo

One of life’s most treasured moments is the nighttime routine. For some, the routine can be quite complex, complete with a shower, a skincare routine and a full blown performance of ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” (I’ve heard…this isn’t from personal experience). But for others, for instance, a five-year-old, the routine is very simple: brush your teeth, listen to a story and go to sleep. Well, just like “Love You Forever” or “Goodnight Moon,” the second episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas served as the perfect night time storybook, lulling it’s viewers off to sleep with a dramaless episode that could put even the most difficult children to bed. And I promise, they would fall asleep faster than you can say “dim sum.”

Anyway…onto the play-by-play for this week’s episode.

Episode Two: You Dim Sum, You Lose Some

Last week, at the end of the episode, we heard some of Preston Hollow neighbor Tiffany’s story. Her parents immigrated at three and left her behind in Beijing where her grandparents took care of her. She then was dropped up at an airport and flown across the world to the United States at six, where she met up with her parents. After this experience, she faced significant racism in her schooling, as she didn’t speak any English. 

Well, this episode picked up right where last week’s episode left off, as Tiffany told her story to Brandi, who faced significant backlash after an insensitive video resurfaced of her using a mock Asian accent and making fun of her eyes. Tiffany tells Brandi about her experiences with racism, which include having other kids pull their eyes back to mock her. Brandi apologizes to Tiffany, and Tiffany remembers a patient that she was recently taking care of at the hospital who said, “Can I have a new doctor who doesn’t have coronavirus?” Tiffany and Brandi cry it out, and Tiffany asks Brandi to not be sorry anymore. “Let’s use this opportunity to educate one another and have an open dialogue,” Tiffany says. In a confessional, Tiffany then uses this moment to talk about a common trope in the United States, where Asian individuals are often referred to as the “model minority.” This dangerous trope is the belief that Asian Americans act as all minorities should act, often based upon stereotypes surrounding intelligence and success in Asian communities. Tiffany goes on to say, “I think the time has come for Asians, for Black people, for everyone to speak out. This is America. It’s 2020, we can do better.” It is quite the heartwarming moment for the housewives, as Brandi goes on to say, “What I would like to be is an example for people that do make mistakes and somebody can learn from me.”

The girls go back inside to join the others, and when Brandi goes away with Stephanie for a moment, Tiffany debriefs the other housewives on the conversation. She says that the talk outside was cathartic. Kameron doesn’t know what cathartic means, and it became clear to this recapper that Kameron hasn’t discovered the wonders of listening to Carole King’s “Tapestry” with a candle lit. Talk about catharsis. Stephanie then tells Brandi in a separate room that she just needs to forgive herself, because everyone important has forgiven her. Cue the heart shaped balloons, put on the Disney theme and roll the credits.

You know what, and maybe they should have rolled the credits, because that’s basically the end of the “drama” for the entire episode. Sure, tensions are bubbling under the surface and it feels like this episode is laying the groundwork for the rest of the season, but the remainder of this episode is a true snoozefest. 

First, Kameron and her husband, Court, finally put a for sale sign in their yard. Kameron didn’t want to do this because she was afraid that it would start neighborhood gossip. She doesn’t want people to think that they’re getting a divorce or that they lost all of their money. Kameron. Don’t worry, no one is thinking that, you’re just moving. It happens every day. As it turns out though, they have a lowball offer that’s going to take some time, and Court is keeping Kameron out of the loop on purpose. Apparently, when the last buyer fell through, Kameron didn’t take it too well, so Court doesn’t want to get Kameron’s hopes up. Kameron isn’t having it though and gets upset with Court, but not before wondering if Louis’, her dog who recently passed, spirit would stay in the house. And then, in a moment that truly made me gasp, it’s revealed that Kameron keeps Louis ashes in her bedroom. Woof.

Meanwhile, D’Andra decides to take us on a journey with her; we’re going to see her shaman, Darrin. D’Andra, who is a Christian, points out that this goes against her Christianity, however she says that “God gave her a brain to better herself. How could that be bad?” So, into the shaman’s house we go. With Darrin, D’Andra reveals that she wants to have a different, unwound disposition. She’s working to rebuild bridges with people, specifically her stepmom and brother. See, after D’Andra’s father died, she got into a legal battle with them. In short, there were two wills, D’Andra won, but it ruined what were strong relationships. Well, her stepmother recently texted D’Andra after 16 years that her brother had a baby. Her shaman says that it could be an opportunity to rebuild that connection. My guess is that this will be D’Andra’s arc throughout the remainder of the season, but only time will tell.

Something that I wasn’t expecting in this episode: Dr. Tiffany Moon convinced me that I need a wine cellar. Not just want. Need. We’re taken to Tiffany’s house, where she gives D’Andra and Stephanie the tour. Tiffany’s house? Stunning. Tiffany’s closet? My personal dream. It’s full of Dior and Chanel, and it feels like it’s a showroom for a fashion house. It has a fingerprint lock and heated floors. “It’s where I plan to be buried when I die,” Tiffany says. Is there room for two? Tiffany then pops open a bottle of wine from her own private label winery, and the women discuss the situation with Brandi. Tiffany makes it evident that it’s water under the bridge, and the subject then turns to Kary, who kept feeding Tiffany shots at the pool party in true college fraternity style. Tiffany goes as far as to say that Kary was bullying her, and D’Andra and Stephanie say that Kary basically bullies everyone. Fun. Right? The conversation shifts yet again, and Tiffany then invites the ladies out for dim sum, because she wants to share her culture. It sounds like a plan, and Tiffany starts making moves to invite all of the housewives.

Finally, Kary gets a spotlight in the season, and we shift to her home. Her daughter Olivia just came home from Los Angeles, and Kary reminisces on how their relationship has improved since Olivia left. Olivia and Kary then have a talk on the Black Lives Matter movement, and Olivia says that it’s hard coming from L.A. where all of her friends are passionate about protesting and the movement, and her friends here are not. Kary then talks about how it’s been a tough year to raise kids, and that she thinks that it’s important to give kids hope, even though she’s scared too. Good advice from Mrs. Brittingham, and that’s about all I have to say about that segment.

And we’re back to D’Anda (whew…this episode has us ZIPPING from housewife to housewife), who is talking through one of my favorite topics, love languages. For all of the suitors out there, my love language is words of affirmation, but I’m searching for someone who loves to receive gifts. Suitors can find my email below, send your resume and cover letter please. Anyway, D’Andra’s love language is acts of service, so husband Jeremy is doing tasks all around the house for her. When the two finally sit down after Jeremy has finished his chores, D’Andra talks about her family a bit more. She sent her brother a message congratulating him on the new baby, and he sent a cold text back. In her incredibly fun hot pink glasses, she says that she doesn’t want to go through life with resentment, and Jeremy encourages her to speak her heart.

Then we have a brief interlude, and it’s finally time for Tiffany’s big dim sum lunch. The girls head to Kirin Court in Richardson sans Brandi, who is off with her kids in Florida. D’Andra, Stephanie and friend of the housewives Jen arrive shortly after Tiffany, and D’Andra reveals that she recently got tested for COVID-19. She voices her fears around the virus, which in my opinion, are perfectly reasonable, because when she was in Asia she contracted SARS. Thankfully, D’Andra tested negative, and the girls can enjoy their dim sum maskless (help). 

We then flash to Kary and Kameron in a car together, where they’re complaining about D’Andra being a hypochondriac. Kary makes it clear that she believes that D’Andra is selfish, and the groundwork is laid for what, I originally thought, would be a dim sum disaster.

But alas, it’s just…not. 

Of course, the tension between Kary and D’Andra builds at lunch as Kary outwardly says that D’Andra makes a big fuss over illness and pokes fun at the situation. But, D’Andra takes the advice of her shaman and remains calm, even though Kary and D’Andra clearly have beef that has been building since they toured together. 

Tiffany then takes this time to explain her culture and explains dim sum as an experience like Spanish tapas. She also has red envelopes (from Cartier, of course) for everyone that are commonly given out at Chinese New Year. She teaches the group some Mandarin, asking them all to say hóngbāo together (which means red envelope), and presents them each with an envelope that doesn’t have money as they typically do, but has a randomized question that she wants answered. They’re all questions about the most exciting things that have happened in the past year or their favorite things about themselves. It’s a tender moment for the housewives, and D’Andra reveals some of the details surrounding her family.

The only ounce of drama that we really get a dim sum that isn’t just laying the groundwork is when Kameron won’t eat a chicken foot. She won’t even try it, as her diet normally consists of quesadillas and five-year-old foods.Tiffany gets upset with her, as many people around the world consider it a normal food. Kameron fakes it and puts her bowl under the table, and the girls all then take a shot together, but not before Kameron declares that Tiffany is “bossy with food.” Clearly, Kameron hasn’t met Gordon Ramsey, and if she has, she was not a contestant in Hell’s Kitchen.

Then everyone thanks Tiffany, and Tiffany laments that Brandi couldn’t join them. 

And…that’s it. We cut to scenes from next week. Fingers crossed that next week really turns the dial up for these Dallas ladies.

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